The Be One Life

Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength together a one.

Unity Bound in Peace

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Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. -Ephesians 4:3-4 (NLT)

What is peace? How can we live in it? Peace is not just the absence of war. Peace is a blessing from Jesus; a state in which we are reconciled with God. We have peace when we are one with the Source. Jesus created all things and in him all things are held together. Jesus said in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Let us meditate on how can we live together in peace after we first accept the beautiful gift of peace from Jesus. It is this peace that bonds us in unity.

Paul, an Apostle of Jesus, wrote in Ephesians 4 that we who believe in Jesus should “make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” We are called to use peace as the bonding agent to keep us united in the Spirit. Being united in the Spirit is not about everyone having to agree about everything, but about the whole body agreeing that Jesus is the head. The unity of the body of believers is motivated by our one glorious hope for the future, the hope of eternity in heaven with Jesus. This foundational hope can lead us a live worthy of our calling!

How can we continue to keep this peace and be one in the Spirit? Paul gives some insight into this in Ephesians 4:2; “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

Let us answer this call by God to live our lives in peace with one another! This teaching has great application to our marriages. The bond of peace helps us to act as one with our spouse. When we cultivate peace in our marriages by practicing humility, gentleness, patience, and making allowances for each other’s faults because of love, we will be united in the Spirit. Be One in the Spirit!

Unbreakable Marriage

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Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have an amazing marriage that would last happily ever after like the fairy tales?  

 

That kind of marriage does exist and it is no fairy tale.  

 

That unbreakable marriage is between Jesus and His church. Saying yes to Jesus and becoming his follower is like a wedding ceremony where you are becoming part of the bride of Christ, the church, and Jesus is the groom.  During His time on earth, Jesus never married in the traditional sense; however, he did commit his life to his bride, the church. Every disciple of Jesus, comes together as one in Christ to make up his bride, the church.  Ephesians 5:31-32 says,

 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”  

 

When we confess that Jesus is Lord and submit to him, it is like saying our wedding vows, beginning the covenant of marriage. Jesus established the Lord’s supper as his marriage covenant with us at the meal with the apostles the night before he was crucified as we read in Matt 26:26-28:

 

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

 

When a believer is baptized into Christ, washed with his blood, and transformed into a new self by the Holy Spirit, it is like the Holy Spirit is the wedding officiant pronouncing the couple husband and wife, sealing the covenant, adding the believer to the church and making them one with Jesus.  Romans 6:3-4 (ESV) tells us,

 

“Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

 

We are no longer the same old person living with sin, but a new, complete person made whole, through the blood of Christ. Best of all, we are part of the bride of Christ, the church, sealed with a covenant the no man can break. This is a marriage of our spirit to Jesus and it is the only marriage that is sealed for eternity.  There is no ‘til death do us part; there is no divorce between Christ and the Church, we are His bride forever.

 

Now that is unconditional love.  

This is the kind of love and marriage we want everyone to experience.  May we always celebrate our spiritual marriage to Jesus through our lives, and let it reflect in our actions so that others may experience Jesus’ love.  

Be One.

How to Protect Your Marriage From Holiday Stress

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‘Tis the season. Bells are ringing. Lights are twinkling. All is merry and bright–or is it? How is your marriage? Are you and your spouse struggling with the effects of holiday stress? For many couples, the holidays are full of extra events, extra commitments, and extra people. All of this “extra” can lead to feelings of overwhelm.

Stop for a moment. Notice your breath–is it shallow and up in your chest? Do your shoulders and neck ache? Is your chest tight? Do you have a dull headache or feel overly anxious?

Instead of enjoying this time of celebration and excitement, are you and your spouse snappy and high strung? It doesn’t have to be this way. With the right perspective, you can take care of your marriage and even grow closer during this holiday season. It all starts with a little marriage soul care.

Here are some simple, yet impactful ways to protect your marriage from holiday stress.

  1. Choose your priorities! Want to relieve stress and cut it off before it starts? Then focus on what matters most. Spend a few moments in silence and ask God to show you what is necessary to focus on during this time of year for your family. From here, begin to think about your priorities and choose 3 areas of importance for this Christmas season. Perhaps you want to focus on connecting with the Creator, remembering Jesus’ birth, or even just enjoying the season with your family. Whatever your priorities are, write them down and focus your time and energy on them as a couple.
  2. Release Expectations. This is the hardest right? It’s not saying that we cannot have expectations, but we do need to hold them loosely. Grasping at our expectations too tightly is a surefire way to end up anxious and disappointed. Instead of focusing on all the things people say the “perfect holiday” entails, how about looking around at what is actually happening in the moment. Be present to what you are currently doing and allow yourself to engage with whatever is in front of you. You see, anxiety comes when we are preoccupied with the future. It is our ego’s way of trying to control things that we have no control over. When holiday stress and anxiety rear their ugly heads (and they will) ask yourselves: What is happening now? What beauty is here? How can we fully engage this moment?
  3. Read God’s Word together. Spend a few minutes each day (you can start with 5) reading the Word. Time spent in God’s word tunes our heart to His and reminds us of what is important. Read a few verses together and have a quick chat on how it can be used to shape your marriage.
  4. Pray together. We all know we need to pray together, but are we actually doing it. Sure, you may pray for your spouse, but are we praying with them? Praying together helps you to grow in oneness because you are seeking the heart of the Father as a unit. You can share you deep needs, desires, hurts, and joys as one. When you pray together, you, your spouse, and God are all in communion in a way that doesn’t happen when you pray separately. Use this short time to not only speak to God, but to invite a few moments of silence in for listening.
  5. Keep regular couple time. Make it a regular practice during the holidays to make time for each other. Whether it is a date night at home or a shopping date, spend some time with just two of you. During this season when everyone and everything is vying for your time, make your relationship a priority. Spend quality time together often.

The holidays are often a time of stress and strain. But they don’t have to be. Choosing soul care for our marriage can keep us focus on what and Who matter most. May you walk through this season of Advent hand in hand and eyes toward heaven.

Be One, Beloved!

 

Self-control

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self-controlBoth love and godly communication are keys to any good relationship. Whether the relationship is with your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, your co-workers, your neighbors, your enemies, or even God, all relationships need love and clear communication to flourish. This is where self-control comes in. Self-control is a spiritual gift we all desperately need, yet constantly struggle with. So often in our relationships, we want the other person to love more deeply, communicate more clearly, control their actions…first. The truth is that this begins with controlling our own actions; the practice of self-control.

When we accepted Jesus, we made a commitment to follow him wholeheartedly. A major part of being a disciple of Jesus is that we love God and others. True love requires that we keep our word, that we build one another up, and that we are trustworthy. None of this can be accomplished without self-control. God wants us to speak truth in love and gentleness and encourage one another with our words. (Ephesians 4:2, 15; 1 Thessalonians 5:11). Following through on our promises show the other person that we can be trusted and that we really do love and care about building a good relationship.

God intends for us to exhibit self-control out of love for our spouse because our marriages are a reflection of the relationship of Christ and the Church. Husbands must show self-control to be the Christ-figure in our marriage and serve our wife as Christ served to the point of death. Wives must show self-control by submitting ourselves to our husband. We must ALL practice self-control by submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21-33).

In order for us, the church, to show the world we are one with each other and one with Christ, we must exhibit self-control in our words, actions, and in all areas of our lives, so that the world may see and give glory to God. Let us all ask God to bless us with the gift of self-control in all our relationships!

Gentleness

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GentlenessGentleness is the spiritual gift of being mild mannered and implies humility and meekness. Our society equates traits like gentleness, humility, and meekness with weakness. In the kingdom of God, however, gentleness is an aspect of strength. Our perfect example of this is Jesus. In Matthew 11:29, Jesus says, “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus approached teaching others with a humble and gentle heart, and at the same time he was strong enough to carry all of our burdens. We too are called to teach the word to the lost with gentleness (2 Timothy 2:25).
As husbands and wives, we need to show gentleness in our marriages for us to grow as one toward one another. This begins with opening up the lines of communication and listening to each another. One of the hardest things for a husband to do when he sees his wife suffering is listen and empathize. Naturally, he just wants to fix the problem. This is where gentleness comes in. Husbands, your wife does not need you to be her savior when she is going through difficult times; she already has One. She needs you to be her partner who helps and supports her with gentleness as Jesus brings her through whatever trial she is facing.
Wives are called to clothe themselves with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God (1Peter 3:4). That beauty of gentleness will speak volumes to your husbands, more than anything else you might wear.
Jesus is our example of a gentle spouse in His gentleness towards his bride, the Church. He has always loved her, and showed the church gentleness for her, flaws and all. Whenever we get off track, he gently corrects us and reconciles us with God (Colossians 1:15-20).

Let us pray for the Holy Spirit to give us the gift of gentleness in our teaching and our marriages.

Be…Patient

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bepatientThis month’s theme is Be…Patient. Patience is such a difficult characteristic to put into practice. So much so, that we thought of skipping this theme all together. See, the thing about patience is that it is something we all need and want, but none of us want to go through the difficult trials involved in producing patience (Amen?). Patience is not something we are born with; it is a gift from the Holy Spirit.


Every parent who has been through the toddler phase has wished that both they and their child were born with patience. Dealing with the “I can do it myself” stage takes a boat load of patience. As adults, many of us still take the “l can do it myself” attitude with things that only God can handle. Thankfully, we have a loving and patient Heavenly Father that waits for us to hand over our problems.

A healthy, godly marriage also takes patience. When we say, “I do” God joins us together as husband and wife, but neither person knows exactly what they are doing. Each person must learn how to be a godly spouse while being patient with the other as they learn. We must pray for the Spirit to grant us patience as we grow together.

Solomon tells us in Ecc. 3:1, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Right now we are in a time of waiting on the Lord to return. Patience is needed in this liminal space between Jesus’s resurrection and his return. As His disciples, we eagerly await the gift of eternal life with Jesus in heaven, and we have also been instructed to teach and be patient with difficult people (Titus 2:24-26). This month, let us all pray for the Spirit to grant us patience to run the race well. For we know “that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:3-4)

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Failed Pose

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As I was practicing functional therapeutic movement this morning, meditating on the Word, my mind wandered to a picture that captured me in a difficult yoga pose. Even though I only held the pose for a few seconds, it looked really amazing frozen in a photo. I thought of posting it to show my yoga progress and to be honest, look impressive.  I let that thought go and returned to thinking about the Word.

After I finished my practice, I sat down to read, and the words of Jesus in Luke 14:11 rang true to me about that thought from earlier. 

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” – Luke 14:11

I realized that Jesus wants me to shine my light to direct others to Him with my failures as well as my successes. Shining a light on my failures is a humbling and frightening task for this recovering perfectionist. So instead of posting a highlight pic, I decided to recover a deleted “fail” pic and post that instead.

Sharing this picture was a very humbling experience for me. My wife has been able to stand in tree pose for years without any problem. For me, on the other hand, tree pose is hit or miss, depending on the day. Trying to do double tree pose as partners brings in another level of difficulty. Tree pose requires core strength and a lot of balance and. With a partner, it requires all this on top of counterbalancing.

Marriage is very similar to double tree pose in that it is balancing act to keep each other rooted down and standing tall. We all have our strengths and weaknesses; and thankfully, my wife and I balance each other out, most of the time.

On that day (and many others), I didn’t have the balance. My lack of balance required my wife to do more counterbalancing to compensate. A similar thing often happens in marriage–one spouse might have to help hold the other up during difficult situations. When both partners are able to root down on a solid foundation, it is easier to stand firm. When a couple’s faith is rooted in the love of Jesus, they will have the strength to stand tall during hard times.

Even though I was messing up the pose and the pictures, my sweet wife never expressed her frustration with me; she only gave words of encouragement. A marriage characterized by building each other up during trials will come out stronger and closer to God.

Today I want to share my failed pose as a reminder of my humbling experience and my gratitude that I have a wonderful partner in both yoga and life to help me when I struggle. ‪

Wives, How to S.H.O.W. Jesus In Your Marriage: Honor Your Current Season

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marriage_seasonsHappy Truth Tuesdays! We’re rolling through our series now.   So far we have talked about how important it is for Jesus girls to show Jesus in our marriages.  Then we went on to talk about how that begins at home.  This week, I want to talk about an issue that many women struggle with.

This is the third post in a series.  Click here to read the introduction to the series, and here to read the first topic.  

Our society is such an instant gratification society, but is that a Godly way to approach our marriages?

If we are to Show Jesus in our marriages,  we MUST honor our current season.  Did you realize that our lives go through seasons?

Too many times as  women, especially, we do not have the perspective to understand that everything doesn’t last forever.  When you are young, or especially when you are in the throes of a difficult season, like young motherhood, everything seems never-ending, am I right?    The feeding is never-ending, the changing diapers is never-ending, the watching Frozen and Dora the Explorer is never-ending, the chauffeuring and playdating and teaching and taking care of everyone else is never-ending.

But guess what?  It does end.  And then something else begins. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that “for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

See, I believe that too many of us spend our time envious of others that are simply in a different season.  We spend so much time trying to live in someone else’s season during someone else’s time that we miss the ability to be purposeful in our own seasons. 

To SHOW Jesus, we must honor our current season by practicing contentment.  We must realize that our current season is where God wants us to be and when he is ready for us to move, He will make it clear.

Spend your current season making a difference where you can be most useful for God.  If you have young children, serve with your family, reach out to other young wives and mothers to form strong relationships.  Be an encourager as you seek encouragement.  Most of all, know that you are useful and that this season is an important one.  You are laying the foundation for your marriage and your children.

Most importantly, SHOW Jesus by honoring your current season and making the choice to serve God where you are right now.  Remember we are only promised today, so we must make the most of it for ourselves, our marriages and the kingdom of God.

I’m so guilty of not honoring my current season.  I have wished time and again that the tantrums and the late night feedings would be over so that I could do ________ (fill in the blank).  I realized though, that this particular season is just as important in our marriage as all of the others.

Understanding my Color Type and adjusting my attitude towards my current season can make all the difference.

What about you?  Have you ever wished you were in a different season?  What can you do today to honor your current season that would make a positive change in your marriage?

How To S.H.O.W. Jesus in Your Marriage: Part 1

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wedding_rings_fixedOur family mission is simple:  We show Jesus.  In all that we do as a family, we make sure that nothing takes away from that mission.  As a part of this mission, it’s been my personal goal that as I advance my career as a wellness and fitness teacher that I don’t forget that the true call on my life is to show the love of Jesus wherever I go.

A few months ago, I was asked to speak at a Ladies’ Day, and of course I wanted to say no.  God had different plans for me, and though the Spirit, I was able to craft a message that I pray will speak to your heart.

I have been timid for years with sharing God’s word, and after lots of prayers for boldness, here I go. The Bible passage I’m using is Titus 2:4-5.

Funny that this lesson starts with a lesson I learned from my toddler.

She is the person who helped me to understand this passage more clearly.  How many of you have or have had a toddler?  Right now I’m in full-blown toddler season, ya’ll–pray for me.

One Sunday morning a little while back we were getting ready for church. You know how it is on a Sunday morning when you have littles.  You’re rushing around trying to get them ready and yourself ready and everybody out of the door.  But it isn’t working because:

A toddler will do EVERYTHING in their power to derail your plans.

My toddler girl  was “helping” me get ready for church.  So while I was rushing around she asked me a question that stopped me right in my tracks.

She said to me “Mommy are you a ShJesus girl?”  

Now to be honest, I was only half listening the first time, so I answered her with a  “Huh?”  She said it again, louder this time and seemingly annoyed that I didn’t understand her the first time.  In her two-year old tongue she repeated rather loudly “You a ShJesus girl?”

I have to admit, sisters, I was floored. 

I had no idea how to answer her.  So many long-winded, over the top answers raced through my mind, and then, after a few moments, when I didn’t think I would ever have the words to answer her, the Holy Spirit gave me the words to say.   I found myself simply saying:

Yes, yes I am baby.  I’m a ShJesus girl.  I.am.a.Jesus.girl. and so are you.

It was then that I realized that this is what this passage, Titus 2:4-5 is about.  It is not a checklist like it’s made out to be.  It’s not a set of rules, either.   It’s simply a way for us Jesus girls to “show Jesus to our husbands, to our children, and to the world.

You see, so many of us look at this like a check list or a job description.  As a matter of fact, when I first got married, I thought that if I did these things I would be a good wife.  Soon though, I came to see that checking things off the list didn’t get me any closer to my husband, or to God.  What God is after, what our husbands and our children are after is not our “to do list.”  They want our hearts.  So, I ask you, my sisters, to begin looking at this passage with me another way.  Instead of a to do list to be accomplished or a set of rules to follow, let’s see it as another avenue that we have as wives or future wives to simply “Show Jesus.”

In the coming posts, I will begin breaking down the S.H.O.W. Jesus into each of its parts.  The next post will focus on how we as wives can show Jesus by “Starting at Home.”  Look for it next Tuesday!

This was a hard post for me to share because I’ve always been very timid with sharing God’s word publicly.  I’m growing, though, and in this season, I’m choosing bravery!

What’s your family mission statement?  I’d love to hear all about it.

The Be One Life

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